No Words Spoken

He tried to form words; they were nothing but a noise over broken vowels. He begged with his hands, his eyes wide and tearful as he watches Michael close his hands down on Femi’s shoulders.

He stood poised like a king, power commanding off him. His pale eyes found Yuliy’s dark ones and he couldn’t move, trapped by the fear making his legs tremble.

Michael’s mouth started to move, but with his beard, Yuliy struggled to make out his words, his head too clouded and disoriented to understand. Yuliy shook his head, pointing to his ears, his hands trembling.

Michael cocked his head, a taunt, a playful gesture in a deadly game Yuliy wanted no part of. Michael bent his head down to Femi’s ear and whispered something into it.

‘I hired you.’ Femi’s hands began to sign Michael’s words. ‘The job was simple, especially with your reputation. I promised money and you told the law.’ There was a smirk on Michael’s face full of arrogant false disbelief.

‘I never.’ Yuliy signed, his hands stabbing downwards through the air.

‘You sent the law to my location. I don’t know if you’re incredibly stupid or ridiculously brave. Perhaps, neither. Maybe you’re naïve. Do you have any idea what happens to people who betray my trust?’

‘I never told anyone.’

‘You risked my family’s safety.’ He tightened his hold on Femi’s shoulders, the material of his dress scrunching under his hands. ‘You cost me money.’

‘I didn’t!’ Yuliy took a step forward as the tightness of Femi’s jaw, the tremble of her lips. Her eyes caught his, and in that second, unreal and terrible, he understood.

‘I’m sorry, Yuliy.’ She signed, her hands trembling as tears welled. ‘I didn’t want you to get hurt.’

He felt as though the ground had dropped from underneath him. She had never liked the plan, thought it was too dangerous, too risky to get that close to the police. She was there when Michael had come for him, stepping out of the shadows with a deal too sweet to ignore. A snake, she had called him. But Yuliy thought of the family they were building, the hunger they went through every night. With the money Michael had offered, it would give them enough to survive the next month.

And now the next month seemed years away. Time had stopped in front of him.

His eyes flickered to Michael who’s eyed them both, annoyance clear on his face. He was speaking, his words short as nostrils flared.

‘I’m sorry, Yuliy.’ Femi signed as she opened her mouth, preparing the truth.

Yuliy clapped his hands until both of them turned his him.

‘I did it. Tell him I told the law where to find him.’ Femi’s lips didn’t move as she watched him. 'F, tell him.’ She shook her head, the colour drained from her. ‘Please.’ Yuliy begged. ‘Please tell him.’

Tears ran down Femi’s face as she told Michael. In an instant, Michael raised his arm and trained a gun on Yuliy, who took a step back out of instinct. But then he stopped himself, his feet planted firmly, his body taut, his breath swallow, waiting for that final second of his life.

Femi’s hand sprung up, knocking the gun from Michael’s hand who stepped back in surprise at the blow to his stomach. Femi lurched forward, running towards Yuliy who came to her, pushing her behind him as Michael chased his gun.

She pulled him out of the alley way by the back of his shirt, but he never tore his eyes from Michael. He stumbled back, memorising the cobblestones he grew up running on.

They never managed to get far. Michael snatched his gun from where it had fallen and fired before Yuliy could even register his finger on the trigger.

With a flash, Yuliy waited for the pain to rip through him. He knew the feeling of a bullet lodged inside of him; he knew the cold sensation of fear that spiked when blood soaked through clothes.

But all he felt was the grip on the back of his shirt fall away. He spun around to clasps her hand, but she was already on the ground, her green dress darkening around her chest.

Dropping to his knees, he gathered her into his arms, pressing a hand against the hole in her chest. No.No.No. He couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything, but hold her, balancing her his lap as he cradled her face. Her eyes were wide open, her mouth agape in a silent 'O'.

A sound escaped him. He could feel it in the back of his throat. He shook her, waiting for her to smile up at him and tell him everything was going to bed fine. She didn’t stir.

Time was nothing as he let the world around him fade. Sobs broke through his body, making him tremble and gasp for breath. Hunched, he stayed with her, guarding her body as he should have done when she was alive. His mind whirls with those thoughts.

A gloved finger placed under his chin, brings his eyes up until he’s staring into icy blue ones. A chill ran through Yuliy, his heart racing at the sight of him. Any anger he felt, the hatred that boiled inside of him, scampered from the intensity of his presence and the fear that claimed him.

“You. Work. For. Me.” Michael said the words slow and careful until Yuliy understood. “Pay. What. You. Lost. Me.”

Yuliy shook his head as he tore his gaze away, squeezing Femi closer to him. Michael was a monster, Yuliy would never kneel for him. Could never put himself under his thumb.

Michael grabbed his chin more forcefully, dragging him back to face him.

“Listen.” Yuliy’s eyes swam. “Next. Time. It’s. The. Kids.”

Yuliy sucked in a breath. He wanted nothing more than to run, every part of him said to flee, to get to the house and lock the door. But Michael would find him. He had already found him.

“Come.” He grabbed Yuliy by his forearm and dragged him to his feet, despite the struggle Yuliy gave. He wasn’t going to let Femi go. He wasn’t going to let her lie in the alley way, cold and alone, waiting for the law to find her body, or worse the rats.

He fought, screamed, did everything he could to stop him.

Smack.

The blow snapped Yuliy’s head to the side, his cheek raw and blistering red. It turned his world upside down as his legs seemed to drop below him.

Michael hoisted his arm around his shoulders and let Yuliy stumbled against him. Shock had begun to set in, and Yuliy felt like his heart was about to burst from his chest that seize and ached, leaving him gasping as though every breath was his last one. And then everything blurred as his fingers numbed and Femi fell from his grip.


***


Yuliy sits next to the campfire that’s beginning to dim, the last of the embers glowing fainting, leaving him in the dark.

He can’t sleep. The nightmares once again had chased him from his bed in a fit of screaming. Lately, they seem to catch him every night. Exhausted, he normally took himself to Valerie’s tent, allowing her to comfort him. But even then, the nightmares came, throwing him from her bed, kicking and punching at her until the reality set back in. Once he had given her a swollen lip.

Now he sits outside, the fire his only company. Sleep begs him to go back to her, but he can’t face the idea of hurting her again and waking her from her sleep.

Shaking his head, he rids sleep from his thoughts. He doesn’t think he can deal with another nightmare tonight. His heart still pounds away, thumping inside his chest, rapidly. He digs his bare toes into the cool dirt, idly playing with a stone that has begun to cut into his skin. It’s the only thing stopping him from falling back asleep. The slight twinge of pain reminding him to stay awake, stay away from the depths of his dreams.

He wonders what Femi would think of this life he finds himself stuck in. A smile wobbles at the thought of her meeting Valerie and the rest of the gang. She would have loved Isabella and her collection of clothes; And Valerie and her way of making everything okay; Jake with his lessons and fatherly presence; and Leon with his strong jaw and charming smile. He could see her swooning after him, too young to even have a chance, but she would try anyway. Most of all, she would have loved the wide-open plains of grass, the rocky mountains behind them and the sky blue instead of grey. And with all that their home gives them, it gives the kids somewhere safe to thrive and play. He sees them laughing every day with full bellies. He sees them smile more than he ever did back home. That’s what Femi would have loved about this place. The chance to be happy.

Tears fall onto his lap and he can’t stop them. He buries his face into his hands, ignoring the way they tremble from the night air.

A hand touches his shoulder and Yuliy leaps out of his seat, throwing himself back until he trips over his feet and lands on his behind. Leon stands in front of him with his hands raised in surrender. Every nerve in his body settles and is replaced with heat on his cheeks. He bows his head, trying to hide his tear streaked cheeks. But Leon doesn’t go and instead holds out a hand, putting it in Yuliy’s line of sight.

Yuliy takes it and hauls himself up from the ground, wiping the dirt from his trousers. He glances at Leon who stands back, giving him space. And Yuliy is grateful for it.

In the weeks since Jake's injury things around the camp had gone from subdued and tense to tense and relieved. Now? Things had fallen back in to a kind of normality, so much as their collective could ever be considered normal.

Jake was up and about again, still nursing his wounded ribs, but the bruises were fading and in time perhaps they could all forget. Leon had been keeping a close eye on him, anybody that suffered a head injury severe enough to keep them unconscious for several days was likely to have more complications along the way. But aside from headaches and a little dizziness here and there, the man had been doing alright.

Leon still wouldn't let him mount his horse and get back to work, however. Last thing he needed was an accidental fall. It would be a while yet.

As well as recovering, Jake had also sat everybody down with Michael at his side and explained the events that had taken place on that mountaintop. An ambush they hadn't been expecting on a job that should have been routine. A larger gang with the drop on them, they had taken Michael down first with their blindside attack. Jake had gone down swinging.

Michael's guilt came from not being able to save someone he cared about.

Leon wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. He wanted to believe things were as innocent as they seemed and there wasn't some kind of ticking time bomb in their midst.

But he could tell Ripley and Isabella still didn't entirely buy the story. He could see it in their eyes, although neither woman had said a word in the wake of the little 'meeting'.

Still. Leon knew the power of guilt and how heavily it sat on your shoulders when you'd been unable to save someone you cared about. He'd lived it, he hoped never to live it again. Which was why he would do anything in his power to keep his sister and Isabella safe.

In fact, he felt the same about just everybody in this camp, now.

It's a thought that crosses his mind as he lies there in bed, gazing at the canvas ceiling above. To his side, Isabella slept soundly. Occasionally mumbling something as she tended to do. It was always nonsense, and it made him smile.

It's the urge to take care of the call of nature that gets him up. Pulling on a shirt and some slack cotton sleeping pants, he heads out in to the chilly night air and tends to those needs. It's only on his way back that he spots the boy sitting alone at the camp fire, rubbing his eyes.

Leon stops in his tracks, watching him for a moment. The way his shoulders trembled giving him away entirely. He frowns, questioning his immediate instinct to had over and comfort. Of everybody here, aside from Michael, Yuliy was probably the one he had had the least contact with. He wasn't sure the young man would even want the shoulder of someone he barely knew.

But he couldn't in good conscience leave him sitting outside sobbing, either.

Grabbing his fleece lined jacket from inside the tent, he creeps back out and approaches the boy. Gently resting his free hand on his shoulder. The kid reacts like he's been burned by fire. It's a little startling, but then he reminds himself that he was deaf and inwardly curses himself for being a sleepy idiot and not taking that in to consideration.

Helping Yuliy back to his feet, he offers him his jacket.

"Thought you might be cold." He says as clearly as he can.

Yuliy looks at him hesitantly after dusting off his clothes, then cautiously takes the offered garment.

"Don't worry, it wont bite ya." Leon reassures.

Yuliy pulls the thick jacket on and Leon gestures to the logs to sit, doing so himself and holding his hands out to the fire to warm them. Yuliy sits a small distance away, wrapping himself up in the jacket that threatened to swamp him. It makes Leon smile.

After a few moments, he draws the kids attention. Facing him a little more.

"I'm a little rusty.." he says, "but.."

Lifting his hands, he signs the boy the question.

"Are you okay?"

Yuliy stares at Leon’s hands, blinking, not quite believing what he is seeing. Leon’s signing. He understands. He doesn’t have to watch his lips and piece by piece guess what he’s saying. He can read him. It leaves him with a bubble of emotions stuck inside his chest and he isn’t sure what to do with it.

‘You sign?’ Yuliy signs to him, not able to keep the surprise from his face.

‘A little.’

Apprehension is the word Yuliy thinks of. Yuliy isn’t stupid, nor is he naïve. He has seen what the world has to offer, and it isn’t packaged with a nice bow. Growing up on the streets, he had learnt not to trust anyone and never let anyone near him. Pickpockets were ripe, and adults were never to be trusted. Sure, there were the few who would help him, give him scraps they couldn’t sell, or give him a piece of clothing their child outgrew last summer. But there were also those who used street kids. Paid them a pretty penny to steal, while ratting them out to the law once the deal was done.

Yuliy often found himself in those situations. Being deaf, there were those who thought he was also ‘dumb’. He seethed at the word. He had never attended school, nor could he understand the written word or count. But that didn’t mean that he was stupid.
In the end, he used it to his advantage. Stay quiet and observe. Let those who would hear speak for him and let them think that he couldn’t understand. It was easier to cross them later.

But now, in a world where he doesn’t need to stay silent, Yuliy finds it hard to push open that barrier. He still couldn’t talk to anyone, nor does he entirely trust the adults in camp. The closest he came to a friend was Valerie; He takes comfort in their relationship and is grateful that she doesn’t truly understands what he is missing. Yuliy can be himself around her without the awkwardness that others give off when they try to communicate with him. But Valerie, despite being older than him, doesn’t have the focus to hold a conversation for long.

Jake is the closest to an adult relationship, though even then, they share time in silence, doing chores together. He feels less useless with him than he does with some of the others. But trust still doesn’t come easy while Jake shares his bed with Michael.

There are those, like Heather and Charlotte, who took the time to learn, to speak to him in the only way he could understand, and it warmed his heart the first day he saw them sign. But they weren’t here, they were still living their lives closer to Saint Denis

And now a door has opened, and Leon wants to talk to him. Actually talk to him, but on his terms, with his language. He tears up at the thought. The loneliness only now emerging.

‘I’m fine,’ he lies, bringing a hand to his chest, his fingers spread.

‘You sure?’

Yuliy nods, but can’t stop the way his bottom lip trembles. Finally, he has the chance to speak to someone, to tell them of the things Michael had done, why he’s stuck in this hell…but he can’t.

He glances over Leon’s shoulder, to the cabin that sits behind him. Leon follows his line of sight before turning back.

‘It’s just us. Man to man.’ Leon smiles as him as though everything is okay.

Yuliy hesitates, his legs bouncing. Michael isn’t here, he wouldn’t understand even if he was, but the fear is trapped inside Yuliy, and he doesn’t know how to displace it.

Finally, Yuliy lifts his first two fingers into a V shape and, slowly, he begins to finger spell Michael’s name. With his dominant hand, he drives it against the plain of his left hand. Murder.

Leon frowns, confusion flicking over his face.

‘Michael killed someone? Or you want to kill him?’

Yuliy bites his lip, his eyes glancing over to the cabin, waiting for the lights to turn on. It doesn’t. But his heart doesn’t stop racing as he watches the door, waiting and waiting and waiting for Michael to step out and see him. He’ll know. He’ll know what Yuliy is doing. He’s there. Not here. But what if. He can be here. One second. Is the door moving? Is he watching? What if Leon tells? Where will he go? Does he even know? He has to run, has to get out, grab the kids, go, go, go. Get out. He can’t stay. Can’t tell. Keep quiet. Always keep quiet. Stay quiet. Smile. Just smile. Stop crying. Just smile.

A hand on his knees snaps his attention, and he jerks it away. He feels a whimper at the back of his throat and shame burning in his cheeks. His mind is still reeling, the fear throwing his thoughts into chaos. His chest feels heavy as though it was trying to cover the rapid beating of his heart. Can Leon hear it? He can feel that his breathing is too loud, too quick. Bringing a hand to his mouth to smother any sound, he tries to collect his breathing. He can’t do this.

Leon doesn’t try to touch him again. He waits, patiently. Though, Yuliy can see the conflict in his eyes. He sees the concern of an older brother. He sees Gunther in those eyes.

He can do this.

Sucking in a hard breath, Yuliy shakes his hands, trying to rid the way that they tremble. It takes a few attempts and Leon still waits.

He tells him. The story is long, and Yuliy has to take his time. He watches for the moments he realises that Leon doesn’t understand, finding new words in place of those that left gaps in his story. Several times he has to stop and find his peace, find a place where he can store the fear and tell the truth without any emotion. It doesn’t work and he finds himself listing to one side, his head feeling as though it’s about to roll off his shoulders.

Leon’s patience is the only thing that keeps Yuliy going.

Finally, he tells him of the deal they had struck. A job worth more coin than Yuliy had ever made; he tells him how Michael had cornered him and killed Femi when she had sold him out to the law; and tells him of the threat that hangs over his head. The complete entrapment he feels for there’s no where he can go.

It leaves him exhausted and hunched over himself, clutching onto Leon’s jacket, his head tucked into his chest with his hair covering his face.

The truth is out.

It had been a long time since Leon had last had cause to sign. He'd learned because he wanted to help people, it had seemed like a logical thing to do. But he'd had rare opportunity to actually use it.

Now, as the boys story spills out of him, he does his best to keep up. The pieces were easy enough to put together, but the jigsaw puzzle of information they created built a chilling picture.

As the kid closes in on himself, Leon's eyes drift toward the cabin where Jake slept. Knowing Michael was in there too.

Things had been strained between the two since Jake woke up. Leon wasn't sure what the status of the relationship was at this point and even though Jake reassured everybody it wasn't Michael that had almost killed him, doubt lingered within many of them.

Leon had been willing to give Michael the benefit of the doubt. Until now.

A frown settles upon his brow and he gazes at the dimly lit cabin longer than he intends. The young man at his side needed something, attention or comfort or a soothing reassurance at least, but he couldn't tear his eyes away.

Jake seemed like a tower of strength, even injured. He seemed like the kind of man that would go to his death protecting something, and didn't seem like one that would just lie down and take a beating. Not from anybody. Not even someone he loved.

But if Michael could kill a child, a young woman, with such callous ease.. he was more than capable of abusing a loved one.

It seemed strange to think of Jake as an abused spouse, but maybe Isabella was right.

Leon sucks in a breath like he'd suddenly had cold water thrown on him. Sitting up a little straighter he runs his hands over his face and tries to gather his thoughts. He looks to the boy, getting his attention.

"Does Jake know?" He asks with his hands. Yuliy instantly shakes his head and Leon's heart both sinks and lifts at the same time. Sinking, because it seemed more and more likely Isabella's old friend was caught up with someone very, very bad for him. And lifting because by the same token it meant Jake wasn't that kind of evil.

"Then he should." He adds.

Yuliy's eyes widen and the series of gestures he makes in response could be read by anybody, even those that didn't sign. It was panic. It was 'No' repeatedly.

'You can't, you can't, promise you wont tell.'

"Why not?" Leon asks, "Jake should know what he's capable of, if he doesn't already.." he glances toward the house again, frowning. He asks Yuliy if he thinks Michael is responsible for what happened to the man.

Yuliy's response is a cautious 'Yes'.

"Then we need to turn him in." Leon signs flatly. "He's dangerous. I don't want him round my sister.."

Yuliy shoots to his feet, a look of desperation in his eyes.

Leon watches him as he pleads with him not to tell. Not to ruin everything. The family they've built. Michael will never go quietly, he'd sooner kill everybody here than be turned in. They have to stay quiet, he shouldn't have said anything.

The panic radiates off of him in waves. Panic and regret.

"Heyyyy, hey.. slow down.." Leon soothes, eventually rising to his feet too. He catches the boys hands to still him. Looking him in the eye. "Alright." He agrees. "We'll work this out. I promise."